The One Where Ya Girl Writes A Blog

What I’m listening to: That “bom bom bom” song on Tik Tok

What I’m Grateful for:

1. A laptop that allows me to work from home while I have sick babies (I’ve got my sweet son on my lap fast asleep as I type this today).

2. Friendships of 15+ years and conversations with people I knew as children who grew into awesome adults.

3. I asked Frankie what her favorite thing to do is and she said “loving you.”

4. Calvin is potty training like a champion.

5. It’s summer time in Texas finally after monthssssss of rain.

6. Really challenging experiences that allow me to grow.

Hi, I’m Tamika!

I’m the owner, founder and lead success consultant at the Evolution Collective and I specialize in enhancing individuals mindset by giving them guidance and clarity into who they actually are as a person.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof

Ok, there is my professional introduction.

In the realest of moments, my name is Tamika and what you see is what you get. I’m really talkative, love to swear, and often times people will state that when they need a real come to Jesus moment from someone, they will come to me. I am an excellent speaker and struggle with writing, so in an effort to expand on skills, I’ve started a blog and am writing a book that is currently being sent out to be published. I will state, however, that this blog is probably going to be a grammar person’s nightmare, because like I said, not good at writing. Give me a stage, with one minutes notice and I can talk for as long as you need me to. Writing my words feels like being cut open Saw style in front of the world, but I will get better at it!

I’m energetic and loving and while most people feel they can get all the information they need from a handshake, I believe you get it from a hug. Over time my story will be sprinkled into this blog space, but know when faced with adversity or a fight, I usually come out on top.

I love music- all music. Remember mixed CDs?! On any of mine you could find country, to gangsta rap, to musicals all back to back. I believe fully that the world did not deserve Prince and there is no dis album quite like Lemonade (Beyonce is the queen and no I will not change my mindset on this ever-ever). I believe music can change any day, moment and feeling and sometimes my Apple Music knows me better than people I’ve been around my whole life.

I believe strongly in community and spreading love as far as the eye can see. I don’t believe that we have just one soul mate (I also don’t believe that role is sexually tied), but that our soul has many other souls that it can call home. As such, my soul lives all over the world in people I’ve met and loved.

Each day for me is different but there are two constants: a song I play over and over again (that changes daily) and my art of practicing gratitude. I’ll include both on every post I do. Living in a space of gratitude is a constant practice for me- my actually deep down inside natural state is negative, but I work every day to be positive! I very rarely let people see the negative side of me, and with practicing gratitude, I very rarely let me see that side of me anymore.

• I’m an #enneagram 7w8

• My top #strengths are Individualization, Communication, Woo, Focus and Activator. This means I am an influencer (not like the tweens on Instagram) but I Influence people to work hard, strive for more, witness their potential and do it all while having fun.

• I’m an #ENFJ which means I feel everything, I’m an extrovert so I get my energy from people and judge everything before I perceive it.

• Words of Affirmation is my number one love language- please for the love of God tell me how awesome I am-but do it authentically because if you don't I can tell and I will get pissed.

• It is also important for me to include that I am a believer. I believe in Jesus and the Universe and my belief doesn't have to find home in the building of a church.

I’ve worked and studied the field of leadership and personal development for 10 years now. Studying people is both liberating and exhausting, eye opening and wonderful.

It wasn’t until I was approached (to myself, by a hirer being in the form of a random thought and dream) with an idea for a book and company, however, that I really started to study myself more. Yes I had gone to therapy for many, many years of childhood trauma (thanks mom and dad) but with that we never addressed a glowing problem: who I was on the outside wasn’t how I always felt I was on the inside.

I started to study reality vs perception when it came to stories of the past and I started to connect on a deeper level with friends (mind you, this is coming from the person who already connected with people on a very deep level. There are people today who I probably know better than their spouses, friends, and/or family do because I have the natural ability to create a safe environment and ask all the questions to allow people to blossom and express themselves freely). I started to hear stories from friends, that when I asked them to describe me as they’ve always known me, described who I am today.

The shocking aspect of this to me was I felt I was the exact opposite of who I am today, for a very long time. As I’ve grown and developed I didn’t radically change, I enhanced. What changed over time that made the greatest difference?

The perception I had of myself.

Listening to friends describe me was heartbreaking and raw not because they didn’t say beautiful things, but because they said beautiful things. As friends and acquaintances opened up to their views and perceptions of me over the years I was elated and sad. I realized the most heartbreaking thing:

My greatest heartbreak I’ve ever known (keep in mind my parents abandoned us and that was pretty rough) was given to me, by me.

I spent 30 years of my life allowing the world to see how great I was but not believing it for myself. I allowed continued disappointments, lack of success, terrible relationships, etc etc slide because I did not believe there was good out there for me. I did not believe that I was actually a good out there for me.

There is a common denominator in all of your life: you. I love the work that I do because I force people to have conversations and realizations that they may have been avoiding: the conversations with themselves, about themselves. All of our success and failures are tied to us, but living in a generally negative, comparison filled society, we rarely celebrate the success but always bring up the failures.

Growing up (and all through college) I wanted to be a doctor because my entire life I’ve had this aching in my gut to make the world a better place when I left it. How do we do that? Be a doctor of course.

I had no idea, at 17 years old when I went off to college and the “real world” what would happen to me. I had no idea the relationships I would make, keep, and leave behind. I had no idea that one of the greatest differences the world needs today is in the positivity mindset realm and allowing others to love themselves fully.

I had no idea what a hug could do to change someone’s world. Or how a seemingly simple question could spark a conversation of life changing growth.

I had no idea how awesome I was and how great it feels to tell myself that every day. I also didn’t know that when you tell yourself how awesome you are, society will try really hard to put you down because of it. I didn’t know positivity was possible without taking a “happy pill” and I didn’t know that family doesn’t mean permanent- and that is okay.

Hi, I’m Tamika, and I’m really fucking cool! I’ve lived a lot of life and I’m here to share some stories. I’m happy you’re in my space because I can’t wait to get to know you and how really fucking cool you are too. If you’re here because you’re new to me, or because you’ve known me forever, I’m happy you’re here and apart of my story. The world is big and so are you and so am I.

I’m just out here doing my best. I’m glad you’re along for the ride.

XOXO

T